Black Is The Color of My New Dog's Tail

July 19, 2010

I'm on my way to a train station with a handsome but scruffy young man whom I do not recognize. He has told me about a discount ticket program for a super fast train that will get us from the United States to Great Britain in just under four hours. As we stand behind a wrought iron gate, I realize I do not have my passport with me.

"Maybe I can go with you next time," I tell him.

I return to my house to discover that I have adopted a lovely female dog. This is very happy news until I feel the dog's forehead and notice that not only does she have a fever but, even more disturbingly, she is not actually a dog; she is a girl, a little human girl.

I am truly horrified that I could have made such a mistake. I become hysterical, running around the house asking everyone what I should do. Finally, I come upon my mother who tells me calmly, "You know what you should do."

"Yes. Yes," I reply with new found composure, "I will teach her to walk on two legs and raise her as a human being...and I shall call her...Nina Simone!"