Raindrops Keep Falling On My Parade

June 18, 2008

I'm on a helicopter with my friend, Bill. It's a pretty good size chopper, seating about 15 people.

We're flying over New York City's East River when I realize this isn't just a helicopter...it's a time machine! We've flown our way back to a warm, sunny day in July, 1967 to witness the filming of the motion picture Funny Girl.

From across the aisle I can barely catch a glimpse out the window of the tugboat below being used to film the great "Don't Rain On My Parade" sequence. It occurs to me that we are on the wrong river, that we should be on the Hudson at the mouth of the New York Harbor so that we can catch the Statue of Liberty in the background.

Our helicopter, one of several dotting the sky, turns south and I finally get an unobstructed view of the boat...and suddenly, there she is: Barbra Streisand standing on the bridge of the vessel, clutching her flowers and lip-synching her heart out to the prerecorded track.

I notice right away she's wearing the wrong costume. Instead of the burnt orange dress and brown fur hat, Barbra is decked out in the matching leopard skin hat and coat from the opening scene. "Well, I'm sure they know what they're doing," I think to myself.

The helicopter hovers at eye-level with the tugboat as Barbra stares intently at the horizon during a break in filming. I wave out the window in an attempt to catch her attention. I can't tell if she doesn't notice me, or if she's ignoring me. Then, remembering everything I've ever learned about time travel from science fiction movies, I decide it is probably not a good idea to call attention to myself and risk altering history. Though really, maybe I ought to say something about the outfit.

As our helicopter lands at a riverside dock and we make our way inside the terminal, Bill and I are greeted by Barbra holding open the door and singing, "Together Wherever We Go" from Gypsy.

"Would you like to come to Las Vegas with me?" Barbra asks.

"Yes, I would," I tell her excitedly.

"I bet you would," she cackles, and then disappears up an escalator, clearly not intending to take me along.

Bill and I run up a set of concrete stairs to catch our ride home. When we get to the top of the stairs and push through a set of double doors, I am bitterly disappointed to find myself on a cold, grey morning in the middle of 2008.

A soft flurry of snow starts to fall as I bite my cheeks hard to keep from crying, but I can not help myself and a small trickle of tears seeps through my clenched eyes.

"Oh, don't whine about it," Bill chastises me.

"I'm not whining," I tell him, "it's just a lot of emotion escaping."

Two Pops & a Funny Girl

September 17. 2007

My Dad and I have traveled back in time. It's New York City, a chilly Sunday night in 1964. We've gone to Carnegie Hall to hear Louis Armstrong play. The concert is being hosted by a young Valerie Harper. I think to myself, "Geeze, was she famous enough in 1964 to be at Carnegie Hall with Louis Armstrong?"

As the concert nears its conclusion, Louis and his band make a joyful noise to accompany the crowd into the cold night, but strangely, they are no longer on the stage. Instead, they stand at the back of the house, behind the last row. With the back exits blocked by the band, the audience, including me and my Dad, stream forward, toward the stage, where we find additional exits.

Once we're out into the darkness of Seventh Avenue, my Dad and I walk west toward Broadway. I tell him I want to go down to the Winter Garden Theatre so I can see the "Funny Girl" marquee.*
We walk a few blocks down Broadway, directly into the wind. Still a few blocks from the theatre, we see the giant marquee, but we are barely able to make out the show's logo (the upside down girl standing on her head) because all the lights at the theatre have been shut off. The concert had gotten out too late, sometime after midnight it would seem, but still we are happy to have made the trek.
* "Funny Girl" did indeed open at the Winter Garden in 1964.


After a little research, I could not find any evidence that Louis Armstrong played Carnegie Hall in 1964. However, in the Spring of 1947 he recorded concerts at both Carnegie Hall and the Winter Garden Theatre just one month apart.