Kramer vs. Godzilla...or The Reptile Wears Prada

September 20, 2011

I'm having trouble finding my grandmother's apartment. I knock on the door of a red brick building that I think is hers, but I soon realize I am mistaken. The building I want is on the next block over.

Before anyone can answer the door, I feel my body rise up toward the sky and I float one block over to my grandmother's building.

I have arrived in time for a late supper. Many members of my family have gathered; my parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles...and Meryl Streep, who apparently has married into my family. No one seems particularly happy, as a very literal dark cloud hangs in the sky.

A noise from above brings most of us brings most of us to the living room's picture window to investigate. Flashes of pink and orange light indicate that we are under an alien attack.

A kerfuffle draws my attention back to the dining room where Meryl Streep is now locked in hand to hand combat with a reptile like alien, which has somehow managed to slip right into my grandmother's apartment.

Meryl attempts to subdue the creature with a larger hypodermic needle, but it appears to have no effect.

"Augment this," she yells out to one in particular. A linebacker sized man emerges from the corner of the room. He opens his mouth, or more accurately, he unhinges his jaw to reveal row after row of syringes in place of teeth. They look like the glass tubes you'd find in an old television set, but they have sharp needles protruding from their tops.

He pulls a syringe from the spot where his upper left moler should have been and tosses it to Meryl.While fending off the beast with her left hand, she catches the syringe with her right and jabs it into the creature's neck, rending it powerless, or possibly dead.